


Broken Wall

by 50tabsoffanfiction



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Depressed Prussia, Depression, German Brothers, I don't know how to tag this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 13:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4523160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50tabsoffanfiction/pseuds/50tabsoffanfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a fight with Germany, Prussia goes on a walk to clear his head. He is haunted by his memories and guilt. He was supposed to disappear when he lost his land, just like every other country that was gone. But he didn't. Why is his life such a pain in the ass?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Wall

After he lost his territory, Prussia was ready to disappear, just like Germania, Rome and every other country who lost their land. But he didn't. He was relieved he was not going to die, and yet he was still unsure if he should be here anymore. Germany gave his older brother a place to stay. Prussia was glad that his younger brother still cared about him, but he felt old and useless without his land. Not wanting to alarm Germany, Prussia hid his depression and insecurities from him. 

Sharing a house kinda felt nostalgic. Prussia couldn't help but let his memories over flow him of when Germany was just a newly formed country, how Prussia stepped forward to teach him everything he knows. Other countries often forget that Germany learnt how to organise and fight from Prussia. Germany liked having his brother around the house, Prussia helped out with chores and watched over the house whenever Germany had to go on a trip to UN or EU meeting. Whenever Germany left for those trips, Prussia would sulk and drink his loneliness away. He never could shake this awful feeling of uselessness he felt. He used to be one of the most powerful and feared countries in the entire Europe. His name alone would make some of the other countries shake. Look at him now. He was a landless country. Living in the basement of his younger brother's house. Cleaning up after Germany's newest little puppy. Prussia still didn't understand how he survived losing his land. What is a country without a land? How could he call himself a country now? He was ripped of his land, and so he lost his identity. Who was he now? Was he just a memory of what he once was? Whenever he was left alone to his thoughts he would close himself in darkness. He remembered when he was afraid of that darkness. He remembered when he would craw in a bed with Germania and let the older country's snoring calm him. He barely remembered how Germania looked like, or sounded like. He was afraid that would happen to him. Prussia opened his laptop. Now that he was stripped from his tittle he had a lot of free time on his hands. Immortality used to be useful thing when he was on the battlefield. But now it was just boring and useless, just like him, Prussia bitterly smiled at that thought. He could feel his cheek getting wet, so he hurriedly wiped his tears with his sleeve. He was too awesome to bring himself down. As he was about to play the next episode of the show he was currently hooked on, Prussia heard the front door open making all of Germany's dogs jump to greet the new comer. Germany was home. Prussia didn't feel like getting up and greeting his younger brother at the door. After another episode, Prussia tried to ignore Germany's foot steps coming down in the basement as he was followed by his pack of dogs. Germany ignored his brother binge watching some show in his bed, knowing that with all his free time this is the only thing keeping him out of trouble, and proceeded to use the washing machine.

"Does that thing have to be so loud?" Prussia complained not looking up from his show. The washing machine had to make painfully loud noise just in the middle of a very dramatic scene.

"Seriously, Gilbert?" 

"What?" Prussia paused his episode and looked up to meet his brother standing on the other side of the room. Prussia hated whenever someone referred to him by his human name. He didn't have anything against being called Gilbert, but it only brought the grim reminder that Prussia doesn't exist any more.

"I left you in that position this morning, and if I remember correctly you haven't moved from that spot since you ordered that pizza last night." Germany pointed to an empty pizza box neatly put away in the trash can next to Prussia's futon bed.

"Your point being?" 

"You used to be one of the powerful countries of your time. Now look at yourself. You look. And I'm sorry to say this, but you look pathetic. What happened to you?"

"I'm fine. I am still the same as I was." Prussia didn't believe in his own words, but he wanted to reassure Germany that nothing could get his older brother down. He felt like he still needed to protect Germany even after Germany grew to be one of the leading countries in the world.

"You are not fine. You lost your land and your people have all died. You are in pain, just ADMIT that you are hurting. " Germany stated with a heavy heart. He hated seeing his brother pretended like nothing can hurt the older country. He wanted to help Prussia, but Prussia always shrugged off like he didn't need any help.

"I haven't LOST anything. It was TAKEN away from me!"Prussia screamed as he got up from his bed trying to establish that he is not a senile old man. 

"If you haven't lost anything why are you still here?" Germany regretted the words as soon as he said them. It took Prussia few seconds to decided his next move. He took his jacket and pants, and got dressed.

"What are you doing?" Germany asked when Prussia was tying his shoelaces.

"I'm leaving. You wanted me to live my life as long as I exist, right?" Prussia took his trash with him and avoided Germany's questioning about where was he planing on going.

After he slammed the door behind him, Prussia could feel his chest getting heavy. He didn't want to go back,until he proves not only to Germany that he was fine, but firstly he needed to prove that to himself. He threw his trash into a bin near Germany's house. He didn't plan on where he was heading, so he looked up as if he was asking God for help. He had a feeling that God too has forgotten about him. He thought about his old friends and rivals, Austria, France, Spain and Hungary. Do they even think about him? He thought about all of the Germanic nations that had disappeared after Germany was formed. Their faces and personalities were a blur to him, and every time he wanted to remember them he felt guilty. He felt guilty that nobody remembers them, not even him, and he used to call them brothers and sisters. They used to laugh, fight and be a family together, and he couldn't remember their faces. Prussia felt guilty that all of them are gone, and he was still here, even after he lost his land, his people. He lost everything that defines a country, and was left with nothing but strings of bad memories of war, death, and misery. Prussia walked for hours reflecting on his thoughts and guilt. He walked without a clear destination in mind, and yet he felt as if his feet were leading him to a specific spot. He took a deep breath when he arrived in front of ruins the old Berlin wall. He reached out his left hand to touch the broken wall, hoping it would give him some answers he needed. But of course the wall didn't hold any profound answer that could be shared with the ex-country. Prussia felt himself falling on his knees. The wall did held memories of loneliness and memories of separation. As he was standing there, he remembered all the days he planed to break the wall, to break into the west side to see his little brother again. He remembered all of the nights he tried them out, and failed. He was tired. Tired of living this cursed life. His immortal life lost all meaning when he lost his tittle of a country. Sure some of the youngest countries came for him to ask for help, but after almost a millennium the world had changed and he didn't know how to help new micro-nations on how to gain their tittle as an independent country. He seat leaning his back against the wall, looking up to the stars. He felt small, almost mortal compared to the universe. Prussia could feel his cheeks getting wet, but he was too tired to wipe the tears off. He let himself break down and he cried there. Putting his knees close to his chest he couldn't care if he would disappoint his grandpa Germania. He wanted to let go of the past, he wanted to live now in the present, with his brother, and their five dogs and his little companion bird- Gilbird. He always wanted to live a carefree life without all of the responsibility as a country, and now that he had it, he felt useless. Why was his life such a bitch? He let himself cry out all of the tears he was holding back ever since his land was taken away from him. The world took everything from him. His land. His people. His name. He felt alone, old and useless. Prussia cried himself to sleep that night, still hugging himself leaning his back against the ruins of the Berlin wall. The cold air helped him release all of his bottle up emotions and for the first time in decades he had a peaceful sleep.  
Prussia was woken up by a familiar smell of apple pancakes. He couldn't remember how he ended up back in Germany's house and why was he asleep on the couch covered by his warm blanket. He pushed his blanket off of him and went towards the kitchen trying not to wake up sleeping dogs. 

"Guten Morgen." Germany announced as he heard Prussia walk in the kitchen. Prussia was dumbstruck as Germany pulled out two plates and served them breakfast. Neither of them wanted to talk about how Germany found Prussia resting up against the Berlin wall in a fetal position fast asleep, or how he carried his brother back to his house careful to not wake the prussien, or how he put him on the couch and covered him before he called it a day and went to his bed to catch some shut eye. It took awhile for Prussia to start acting as himself and play with his food as the brothers ate their breakfast. Germany was glad that Prussia was safe and still here sharing one more meal with him. He didn't want to think how would his life look like without Prussia. He looked up from his plate and saw Prussia smiling back at him, as if he can sense that he would miss him if he ever disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea to write this after I chatted with my best friend and we were talking about aph Prussia and how he is suffering depression after losing his territory. Also I headcanon that he became a fangirl after he moved into Germany's basement and filled his newly found free time with browsing online.


End file.
